single mothers: welcome?

me:  should it make me feel weird that a craigslist ad says at the bottom “single mothers welcome” ?
for their job applicants?
AJ:  i think it should make you feel weird if it said “single mothers not welcome”
me: i would probably think it was funny
AJ:  i would apply just because of it
me:  would you say you were a single mother?
AJ:  yes
me:  even though they EXPLICITLY said single mothers not welcome?!
AJ:  yes. and i would prove that i am just as able as everyone else
me: this is sounding very inspirational
AJ:  hahaha
me:  like a movie
AJ: ”he was a single mother, trying to make ends meet”
me:  hahahah “HE”
AJ:  yup. because i’m starring in this movie
me:  how can we sell audiences on the idea of a male single mother
AJ:  that’s the twist, to draw people
me:  “what?! how can HE be a mother?!” “…and how is he going to make ends meet?!”
AJ:  by proving he is just as able as everyone else
me:  …that answers the second question, but not the first. actually, or DOES it answer both?
AJ:  it does
me:  i guess we’ll have to head to theatres on MAY 9th, 2010 to find out. (that’s mother’s day btw)
AJ:  hahaha. perfect
me: too bad we can’t call our movie “mr. mom” cause i think that one’s already been taken

“gotta hit that dog!”

I have had a lot on my mind lately. I mean, life is just full of things to ponder.
One topic I keep coming back to is the allure of the corndog.

Corndogs reemerged upon my radar last week when I was stopped at a gas station. There were signs for corndogs plastered everywhere! First, I thought, “Man, AM/PM’s really going for broke with their meat-log advertising budget,” but I soon realized I was judging too quickly. Why shouldn’t AM/PM devote a large chunk of their marketing efforts to corndogs? After all, they are delicious and nutritious; an all-in-one source of your daily recommendation for calories, fat, and sodium. Good AND good for you! Not to mention the sheer convenience! No more hotdog slipping out of the bun… this dog comes swaddled in its own crispy cornbread shell.

I remember when I was a kid… one of the few unhealthy treats my mom would allow my brother and I to indulge in was frozen corndogs from Costco. She’d get the big box o’ Foster Farms corndogs and on Saturday afternoons, Eric and I would have at it. I remember some days eating as many as three in a row. Never leave a child unattended with a box of corndogs, Mom. Cardinal rule. Tragically, my childhood bond with corndogs was violently broken one momentous weekend. Eric, my dad, and I were on our way back up from a hardcore windsurfing trip on the Oregon coast when we stopped at a Safeway for a snack. I chose a deli corndog and that was a decision our family would soon regret; talk about getting carsick! After that incident, even the smell of cornbread made me mildly queasy.

It should be a surprise to nobody that since that scarring event, I haven’t consumed a great deal of corndogs. When I went through my half-assed, misguided “vegan” stage in college (which lasted all of like three months, shockingly) I enjoyed the now-discontinued Morningstar Farms’ veggie corndogs. But real dogs? Forget it. It hit too close to home (“home” = “barfing in car on Oregon road trip at age 8″). They’ve been creeping back into my consciousness, though. First of all, this week my friend AJ just bought a box of frozen “extreme cheese!” corndogs and we often gchat about it. Then this morning I started Googling “corndogs” for fun (hey, slow weekend) and I found out that National Corndog Day is March 20th, 2010! MARK YOUR CALENDARS, FRIENDS. I have under three months to redevelop my love for these salty treats! (And then a week after that to lose the “corndog weight” before I go to Miami at the end of March. Challenge accepted!)

There is one crucial aspect of the corndog’s mystique that I must solve, however:

me: i’m starting my blog
i wish i had pic of me eating a corndog
do you have a pic of yourself eating a corn dog?
AJ: hahahaha, i wish
me: (also, notice how inconsistent i am with spacing out…. “corndog” or “corn dog” ?)
AJ: i don’t know how many people actually have a picture of themselves eating a corn-dog
i’ll just use a dash
AJ: because i don’t know how it’s supposed to be
me: hmmm… touche
me: i think of all people, i would have a picture of myself eating a corn dog

Okay, if that excerpt wasn’t clear enough, I don’t know how to spell it. Corn dog? Corndog? Corn-dog?
And I guess if we are up on our reading comprehension, there is another central issue: the fact that I do not have the proper graphic to depict me + corndogs. Actually, maybe the bigger concern is my bizarre desire for such a thing to exist. For now, I have posted a picture of what I feel I must look like when I eat corndogs! (Complete with sad Latino cook shaking his head in disgust/shame.)

Anyway, if I am feeling up to the task, I might head to the grocery store tonight and see where my cravings take me. (I’ll tell you where: directly to the frozen foods aisle.) The good news is, we did some research and it appears that corndogs only have about 180 calories per pup. It’s like eating an energy bar… except on a stick… and with more fat and less vitamins. And tastes better with beer and/or Diet Coke.