Author Archives: emily

windows phone rap: or, how i became a fame monster

Posted on November 18, 2011 by emily| 4 Comments

Well, it’s finally happened, I am famous and the people love me.

Oh, wait, what I meant was, haters be hating.

My comedic “rap” skillz have really done it this time. Some ridiculous side project for the agency I work for  has gone viral and now I am blowing up the internet and most people (well, overly-invested commenters on tech websites) seem to despise my swagger. This social media experiment was pretty under the radar until someone submitted it to Gizmodo, who deemed it “worse than your parents having sex,” then we were everywhere.

Including the Seattle Times and the Digital Life blog on the Today Show’s website, which is pretty sweet.

As my beloved friend and fellow rap aficionado Katie (aka Kitty Pretty Money Millionaire) says: “it’s easy to write a negative comment. i dont see those peeps online flossing their raps.”

TRUTH.

Yes, it’s pretty bad. Yes, it’s A JOKE! No, a lot of people don’t seem to understand that and I enjoy their outraged remarks.

Anyway, what does it feel like to have 130,000+ people watch me voluntarily acting stupid (all for the sake of a work assignment!) and then express their (largely negative and/or sexually degrading) opinions on everything from my sweater to my boobs to my voice? Pretty good! Why? Because I don’t care! Call me stupid (not true, I know I’m smart), call me fat (not true, I know I’m in great shape), call me suburban (HOW DARE YOU, I rep the heart of the city) call me irritating (okay, that is often true). It’s hilarious and surreal to know there are so many strangers out there thinking/judging this dumb video, and anyone who takes a sarcastic and admittedly annoying YouTube to heart is completely missing the point. The only thing that hurts is when people say I am ruining rap. I LOVE AND RESPECT RAP.

Everyone knows the world of hip hop is full of feuds and vendettas. Haters are just part of the package. If I can keep this up, I’ll be able to release a fragrance at Macys and/or a line of semi-precious stone pendants on Amazon Jewelry by Christmas.

I mean, in the immortal words of my man 50:
If they hate then let ‘em hate/Watch the money pile up

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Posted in entertainment & celebz, personal asides

texas: bigger and better

Posted on October 18, 2011 by emily| 1 Comment

WOW I am very behind on my blogging. I know you millions of readers (= 14ish people from Facebook) are probably very upset, and for this I apologize. I didn’t ever talk about Vegas, but you can read the best part of that trip here, and the rest is pretty much how you’d imagine it would go. (Booze, shot machines, stupid outfits, pool parties, F-list celeb sightings.)

Fast forward to the end of September, when Dayna and I went to TEXAS! I don’t care what all the haters say, I love Texas and I will freely admit it. To be honest I’ve only been to Austin and San Antonio, so who knows what I feel about the rest of that great state. But I’ve liked what I’ve seen, and I’ve seen what I liked. (What? I don’t know.)

Possibly my favorite beer in the world… SHINER BOCK!

We visited a few years ago just for fun and debauchery, but this time Dayna and I arrived with a purpose: Austin City Limits. Bunking with two awesome 20something post-frat bros with a keg of Shiner in their living room (thanks, Jacob and Chase!!!!!!!), we had the best living situation possible and the best music festival ever to attend. It was a magical weekend.

Oh yeah, and besides the best crashpad and the best music, let’s not forget the BEST FOOD AND BOOZE. God I love Austin.

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Posted in booze, mexican delights, music, travel

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family, friends, food

Posted on September 7, 2011 by emily| 1 Comment

I would say that the highlight of this summer has been the extensive amount of travel I’ve been lucky enough to enjoy. Both near (Chelan, Oregon wine country) and far-ish (Denver, Vegas)… and I’m headed to Texas next week for ACL. For someone who hates flying, I sure do get around.

Other than that, these past few months have been kind of a bust. I’m not sure how much rejection, both personally and professionally, a person is supposed to take, but damn. I’ve been able to stay remotely sane thanks to the amount of incredibly supportive and fun friends surrounding me. The only other aspect of my life that is guaranteed to inspire me is the fact that I have a true passion for the culinary world, and goals to reach within that interest. And my wonderful friends keep cheering me on – being patient when I have to take a million pictures of their food at restaurants, reading everything I write, feeding me wine when I need to celebrate or cry, paying for multiple rounds of Big Buck Hunter at the bar because I’m so mad I just want to shoot something – it is a great source of hope to know these people have my back.

Speaking of the people important to us, and appreciating them through the gift of food and wine – my mom’s birthday was a couple weeks ago, right before my brother Eric and his girlfriend Kim were headed off to France. They are both crazily talented people who just finished culinary school and scored the opportunity of a lifetime to intern together at a three Michelin-starred resort in Montpellier. I’m so jealous, yet so proud! We gathered a bunch of friends and fam to my family’s house for a huge dinner party to commemorate both Mom’s birthday and their going away, catered by Eric and Kim and sommeliered/served/bussed by yours truly.

So, enough of the sap, onto what everyone’s really interested in: food pics, of course!

First up: amuse bouche. Ratatouille stacks, brushetta with tomatoes from our family’s garden, and my personal favorite, steak-wrapped enoki with a ginger foam. (That’s Eric and Kim, who will someday cater every event I ever throw.) Continue reading →

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Posted in personal asides

pre-vegas ~drama~

Posted on August 24, 2011 by emily| Leave a comment
me:  But yeah I want to go see Holly Madison so bad
Jordan:  YES
me:  And they’re being total sticks in the mud. Money, etc.
Jordan:  OMG WHY WOULDNT YOU. how much is she
Jordan: yea, if you guys arent going to gamble… you HAVE to see a show

me: I only want to see Holly :(
Jordan: fuck, just go do it
me: I know, I told Caitlin last night that I’ll just go by myself then, is that weird
Jordan: your love for holly is too strong for restraint. you should just go. youll regret it
me: I know. You shouldn’t let anyone or anything hold you back from true love (or… stalking/obsession). When it’s right, you just KNOW.
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Posted in entertainment & celebz, personal asides, travel

summer salad party

Posted on August 18, 2011 by emily| Leave a comment

My good friend Chris is ditching America for England. He got offered some crazy promotion through his software company, and decided to TAKE it and leave us all?! Psshhh. Apparently he loves riots and looting? Good times, Chris.

Naw, just kidding, he’ll do great over there. We are all excited for his great adventure, yet sad to see him go. (The part I’m saddest about is that he’s getting rid of a lot of his kitchen stuff before he goes, yet he did not donate any of his Le Creuset to me. WTF dude.) Despite this great injustice, I had him (as well as our bestie Katie, who I actually met through Chris) over for dinner on Tuesday. Chris is a very talented chef so we figured we’d send him off doing what we love most: cooking a ton of food and drinking a ton of wine. Done and done.

I made the cover recipe from the new September issue of Food & Wine, Thai Chicken & Watermelon Salad. Two of my favorite things, Thai food and watermelon! You can’t go wrong with this one.

Instead of serving it on little Chinese spoons (please, like that’s going to be enough) I tossed it with fresh greens and extra dressing, so we could have gigantic portions instead of baby spoon portions. The lemongrass grilled chicken was awesome. Word to the wise, if you don’t feel like dealing with whole lemongrass stalks (ugh, time consuming) get that lemongrass paste tube in the produce section of your market.

I have to say that Chris’ contribution trumped mine, though! He also picked a F&W recipe, Mexican Corn Salad (he didn’t do the scallops with it as the recipe indicates, since we already had a ton of chicken). God. This was GOOD.

I don’t care what anyone says, grilling the corn really does make all the difference. Also, instead of normal ancho chile powder, Chris utilized something called “fiesta chile powder” and it really did amp up the flavor party. Good call, Chris.

We decided if we were to name the theme of the evening, it would be “cilantro Asian-Latin fusion” because… what else can you call it? I don’t know, but weirdly the two recipes really complemented each other. This was a perfect late-summer, healthy meal (if you don’t count all the wine? But, antioxidants, right? Whatever). I’m bummed Chris is leaving, but can’t wait for Katie and I to visit England, eat an intense amount of fish & chips and beer, then drunkenly trash his apartment (where we’ll obviously be staying FOR FREE Chris!). I mean… maybe that would happen. I guess we’ll find out.

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Posted in mexican delights, nutrition & health

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skillet diner (or, die-ner)

Posted on August 15, 2011 by emily| Leave a comment

“Do you think if I ate here every day, I would die?”
“We all die eventually, Emily.”
“I mean, obviously someday I’ll die no matter what, but if I ate here every day, would I die faster? And more deliciously?”
“…yeah, probably.”

After a Saturday night of extensive cocktail sampling in Belltown,  Bunny and I met Shawna and Katie for a very necessary brunch at Skillet Diner on Capitol Hill. I’m sure many of you know Skillet as that airstream food trailer with the amazing bacon jam burger. What you might not know is that they opened their very own full service restaurant, and it is to DIE for.

Once the initial spicy, garden-fresh Bloody Marys (Maries?) were ordered, the smorgasbord began. I chose their breakfast sandwich, complete with house-made guanciale (basically pork jowl bacon), eggs over easy, American cheese, and a huge biscuit. I had to eat this sucker open-faced. Refreshingly, it was paired with a salad instead of potatoes. I don’t think this dish needed any more greasy goodness.

But let’s not get too excited about the merits of the side salad, because Shawna’s meal completely owned all of us. First of all, she got the fried chicken sandwich (fennel-encrusted fried chicken, jalapeno aioli, and kale on potato bread) – something I already knew was amazing from sampling it at Voracious earlier this year. The real star of the show, though, was her side of poutine fries. I mean… HONESTLY.

Also clogging my arteries while simultaneously improving my outlook on life was the ultimate grilled cheese, with brie, cheddar, and American cheese on brioche toast. Don’t you dare think we didn’t decide to add Skillet’s signature bacon jam.

Finally, Bunny ordered the deconstructed beef hash with fingerling potatoes, fennel, roasted onions, carrots, and fried eggs… but, true confession: I was so obsessed with eating the mountain of poutine that I neglected to take a picture of the hash. I promise it was beautiful and delicious as well, though.

The question on everyone’s minds: after a long afternoon of beers at the Mariners game and cocktails at Toulouse, did Shawna, Katie, and I hang out in Shawna’s car and scarf down the cold poutine leftovers out of our to-go box?

Um… no… no, we did not.

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Posted in restaurants, seattle

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