Fine, let’s just get this out of the way: I am not a huge Christmas fan! Go ahead, crucify me. (Ha ha, get it? I guess that’s more of an Easter joke.) I don’t care any more. Everyone can know. I think this season is overrated. I’m over people being all, “Why don’t you love Christmas? Why are you being such a grinch?” etc. I’m not a grinch, I’m just more into real holidays like Cinco de Mayo, I guess.
But fine, want to know my hangups about the holidays? Enjoy.
PRO: Friends and family from all over the country gather together to celebrate! Loved ones who you haven’t seen in weeks, months, years(?!) come to call.
CON: For some reason, the holiday season is the time when lots of mistakes come to call as well. Literally, call. Already this month I have gotten a shocking amount of drunk-ass texts from dudes (example: “hey whats up i ended up on cap hill tonight, winter party haha” from some guy at UW who I haven’t talked to in over a year), including a confusing handful of misguided booty calls. Some from people I haven’t talked to in years? WHY? Do you actually miss me? I’m not more inclined to hook up with you just because it’s Christmas.
PRO: Christmas is the perfect time to show your family and friends how much you love them by showering them with gifts! What’s better than materialism?
CON: Oh wait, I’m pretty much always broke. Also, everything is better than materialism. I still kind of wish someone would buy me a new laptop, though.
PRO: Christmas is the perfect time to show your boyfriend/girlfriend how much you love them by showering them with gifts! And doing romantic things like ice skating and walking around looking at lights? I don’t know what these types of couples do, I’m just guessing.
CON: Even though I’m not more excited about the prospect of random peeps trying to reconnect, I’ll fully admit the holidays can be very lonely when you’re not in a relationship. People are all, “OMG what should I get my boyfriend for Christmas?!” And I’m like “What should I get myself for Christmas since clearly no man is buying anything for me? Oh I guess I’ll buy a gun then shoot myself in the face with it, season’s greetings!”
PRO: Legit reason to watch Home Alone over and over and over again.
CON: Home Alone 2 was just “eh.” Don’t even get me started on the travesty that is Home Alone 3.
PRO: Parties, so many parties! Cocktail parties, work parties, family parties, friend parties, day parties, night parties, white elephant parties, ALL PARTIES I LOVE PARTIES
CON: Remember what it feels like to wake up without a hangover? Yeah, me either.
PRO: Jesus!
CON: …if you’re into that sort of thing.
So there you have it. Christmas: magical time of year when dreams come true, or weird time of year when you are continually hungover and broke?
Actually, if the latter is the definition we’re using, every day of the year is Christmas for me.
I feel ya.