My friend Emily (not me, obviously. I don’t do third person.) passed this beautiful article along to me, and I feel it is my duty to share this groundbreaking formula with the world.
It’s no secret that Sparks contains less heart murmur-inducing ingredients than it used to. To add insult to injury, even this weak formula is getting harder and harder to find in your average grocery store. At least, here in Seattle. (And apparently San Francisco.) And all I have to say is: WHY? WHY WOULD LIFE PUNISH ME IN THIS WAY?!

But as I told Emily: it’s kinda hardcore. When Sparks is outlawed, only outlaws will drink Sparks.

Sparks Outlawed? Now You Can Make It At Home.

(courtesy of the San Francisco Food Blog. Because clearly Sparks is nutritional “food” for everyone.)

Back in December 2008, MillerCoors voluntarily removed caffeine, taurine, guarana, and ginseng from energy drink Sparks, due in part to pressure from San Francisco City Attorney Dennis Herrera. Hipsters everywhere lost their collective shit. The overly sweet malt liquor/energy drink hybrid saturated the fabric of many a party flannel. Subtract the caffeine and all you have left is a really gross drink, instead of a really gross drink that makes you stay up really, really late…