that old teenage feeling…

As I’m sure we’re all aware of by now, I have a passionate love for Zac Efron. While this fondness is usually met with disgust and/or anxious laughter (“Weird, I hope she’s joking!”), some people seem genuinely curious as to why I harbor this affection. Well, there is an abundance of reasons I could share with you all, but I will go ahead and just point out some main contributing factors.

1. I would like everyone to recognize that he’s 21. Even if he plays a high schooler in every movie, that doesn’t mean he is one! I’m not a cradle robber! And you know what I always say about 21: old enough to drink, old enough to date.
2. Those EYES! Those thick lashes frame the window to a soul deeper than the Pacific Ocean, and irises just as blue.
3. Three words: High School Musical.

It should be no surprise to anyone that I rushed to the movie theatre the Friday morning Zac’s newest masterpiece, 17 Again, was released. I knew my faith in the ‘Fron would be rewarded when the first shot of the movie displayed him sweaty and scantily clad in a high school basketball uniform. The situation’s glory only skyrocketed from there. I don’t want to give anything away to those of you who haven’t seen it, but I’ll just say this: WOW. If you are still sitting and reading instead of frantically scrambling to your nearest theatre, there’s no hope left for you.

17 Again was inspirational in a myriad of ways, of course, but one thing it especially made me do was reflect upon my own high school career. While those days are but a dim memory, I decided it was worth a closer examination, a revisitation if you will. If I were to be blessed by a mystical janitor who gave me the chance to do it all over again, what would I change? In other words… what would happen if I were… 17 Again?

1. I would definitely hook up with more people. Done.
2. Maaaybe not spend so much time worrying about college, since I transferred around three times and just ended up back at UW anyway.
3. Skip more classes…
4. Demand a more lavish grad gift, like a trip to Sweden. Or a pony. (Instead of what I really got, which was… parents cosigning on my student loans, I believe? BOOORRRR-INNNG!)
5. Manipulate my way onto the student council and really shake up the school dance themes. Instead of “When the Sun Goes Down” for the senior prom theme, how about “Leather Daddies”? Or possibly “Women’s Correctional Facility: JAILBREAK!” or even maybe “Columbian Drug Smuggler’s Cruise” …oh, the possibilities are just endless! (and are actually giving me some great ideas for my next house party.)

So, looking back at this wholesome list, perhaps it is better that Zac Efron, not me, was bestowed the gift of a second youth. But any adolescent girls out there who are reading this (and there are undoubtedly a ton of you), learn from my mistakes and heed my advice. There will come a time in your life when it is no longer appropriate to hit on guys who belong in High School Musical (a lesson I obviously haven’t learned yet), and when it becomes pathetic to try to convince your parents to buy you a pony… so you better milk that shit while you can.